GOING BACKWARDS – PART V

I got so excited with this 2nd anniversary of the legendary final shows of the GST in Berlin… that I left the last chapter escape the date itself. But dates are just numbers on a calendar. If you followed this far, I left off on July 23rd, 2018, the day we had the “hard wrap” of filming my scenes and I went off to see the first of the two concerts later that evening. Being part of that crew, even if for 4 days, I couldn’t help but share their feeling of accomplishment after a long and hard job around the world. This would be the first of two times I felt that in 3 days.

On July 24th, which was ironically my only “free day” between Friday, 20th and Wednesday 25th, 2018, I had to optimize my commitments all into: meeting friends from all over the world who were in town for the show in the morning, meet my co-stars as we checked in at the hotel (for logistic purposes I got to stay in a hotel in my own city; no one wanted our schedule to suffer delays because I was late to catch my U-Bahn and meet the rest of the guys and the crew), and later, a dinner with other Facebook Takeoverees at the Italian restaurant located on the same building as the Hansa Tonstudios (I ordered pizza; no Toast Hawaii for me, thanks), because later that evening there was a party inside the “Big Hall by the Wall”. If you’ve never been there, it can get very hot in the summer. The windows don’t open fully. It quickly turns into a sauna. And I was very exhausted. As much as I wanted to see and say hi to everyone, I also had a busy day ahead of me that started with meeting Anton at 10am the next morning and leaving by bus to the Waldbühne. I did what I could to at least say a few words to each friend I met that day.

We were all interviewed by Anton on the bus on the way to the venue. For whatever artistic reasons he found applicable, he decided to not include them, except the part where Dicken pours his heart about trying to cover “Precious” and the importance for an artist to send his or her political statements through their works in times like ours. I was actually the first one to be interviewed simply because I was sitting closer to the front of the bus. Unlike the rest of the documentary, we were not “prepped” for this interview ahead. We didn’t even know what subjects he would talk about with us. Anton may blame English not being his first language, but he is an enigmatic character and sometimes not so easy to understand right away, no matter the language. He asked if I thought that Depeche Mode changed a lot from show to show. What exactly did he mean? From one night to another? Can’t be, they usually make slow changes to the setlist as the tour progresses into several legs, but consecutive nights in different cities tend to have the same setlist. Did he mean from one tour to another? Was he talking about his own stage designs and short films (in which case I’d be in an awkward situation should I dare say anything negative about them to his face)? It was so unclear and I was so embarrassed to make Mr. Anton Corbijn repeat himself that I somehow weaseled my way out if it with a yes-no answer that probably only made sense to me.

A much easier question to which I gave the best answer possible (without previous knowledge of the setlist) was: what song I wanted to hear them play that night. Without a second thought I said: “The Things You Said”. Anton then became silent, stared ahead as if trying to making something out of my very complex answer. Maybe he was expecting “Enjoy The Silence”? I don’t know. They did play “The Things You Said” that night. It was a highlight of the last leg and the last show. Apart from the fact that I was wearing my Ray-Ban Wayfarer the entire bus trip (he said it was my choice to wear it during the interview or not, so I chose to stick to my 80-ish look), this scene would have made an incredible introduction to including even a snippet of TTYS into the documentary. But I already talk about economy before “Everything Counts”, I get to tell the importance of Bowie and “Heroes” to the band. And I recall some tough times I went through in my coming out experience with “Walking in my Shoes” as the soundtrack. So it’s more than made up for.

Right after our arrival, Anton gave us a tour of the stage and it’s unique narrow concrete corridor built full of sharp corners, so Adolf-you-know-who could have had better chances at escaping firearms shots at him (he was already aware he was not THAT popular by the time the Waldbühne was built as part of the 1936 Olympic ensemble of which the neighboring Olympiadstadion is part of). And at the end of the corridor: the stage! I confess it was cool to see the stage from up there, but not mindblowing. It’s just the stage… seen from the stage. This being my 10th concert of the tour, it’s hard to think I’d find any surprises. The gear was covered. The band wasn’t there. We got to wander around and take some picture, but that was it. Oh, and Fletch’s stand is slightly higher than Peter’s. That’s your GST trivia of the day.

Then, to summarize the rest of that afternoon: we were free to roam the venue. Dicken and his kids made a small perfomance while the first part of the audience was entering. Despite not included in our VIP pass, they did let us eat from the catering (c’mon, we were there since noon). And we got to meet the guys from DAF! This is particularly touching considering the recent loss of Gabi Delgado. I’m not sure if the crowd understood the relevance of DAF opening for Depeche Mode. DAF were on Mute Record BEFORE Depeche Mode. That says it all. It almost mirrors when Fad Gadget went back into action and opened several concerts of the Exciter Tour in 2001, and then sadly passed away the following year.

For the main feature of the night, we were escorted to our two not-so-secret little areas in the crowd so they could film us from the side. As we were not supposed to stare at the cameras either, we were split into 2 groups (Indra, Dicken and his kids on one side and Carine, Liz, Cristian and I on the exact opposite). Apart from this slightly inconvenient of having a camera on your face all the time, we did manage to not stare into them all concert long. Anton wanted authenticity. He wanted our most genuine reactions. None of those close up shots were rehearsed. We had no insider tip of the setlist. We were being surprised just like everyone else that night. I didn’t mess up any lyrics when it shows me singing “Where’s The Revolution” and “Heroes”. I passed my self-imposed test of “not being the goth girl crying in despair” during “Blasphemous Rumours” on “101”.

After the apotheotic ending of the show, that’s when the second “wrap up” feeling hit me. This crew (or a big part of it) had been traveling around the globe for more than a year. They became one family. Yet, like at the end of any concert, they have to hurry up to get everyone out and start disassembling the gear. I could almost see tears in their eyes as they were still doing their job. For whatever reason, some of us got leave on a van first, but I stayed behind. This was when I finally gave in and drank some beers with the DAF guys whose dressing container was next to ours. I had avoided all alcohol that hot day. I didn’t want to have to leave for the little boys’ room during the show. But I smuggled some 6 or 7 bottles of mineral water on my cargo shorts. You can see how my light grey shirt is already dark grey by the last song. That’s all sweat! Also real sweat, as Anton wanted. Not fake sprayed water over my sexy body for visual effects.

The next day I couldn’t do anything. I checked out of the hotel, went back home and slept the rest of the day. The entire day! Those 6 days blended together into one thing, but I got to recover and resume my life that I had put on hold since Friday, the 20th (and my husband so gracefully understood how important it was to me and freed me of some our shared shores during that period). Exhausted, but happy to have experienced all of this. Thank you, Depeche Mode!